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notworthyTitle: all alone i heal this heart of sorrow
Fandom: Justice League (The Animated Series)
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
notworthy
Rating: PG-13
Summary: More than anything, she wants to see that smile.
A/N: Set during the Justice League episode "Hereafter", part one and two. So, spoilers for that, but given that it aired about three years ago... Title stolen from Beth Nielsen Chapman's Sand and Water. Written for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
picfor1000.
The first thing Lois does when she comes home after the funeral is trip over the cord of Clark’s headphones. His favorite, she realizes. The ones that cost about three hundred dollars, noise cancelling. He didn’t listen to them a lot, and even when he did, he could still hear everything else around him. She’s lost count of how many times he’s pulled them off with an apologetic smile, only to suddenly be in his suit, and to fly off to go save the world from whatever threatened it this time.
More than anything, she wants to see that smile.
She lets Luthor give her a ride home. The Justice League had given her concerned glances, but she only waved them off. She was already tired of the pitying stares, of people going “I’m sorry for your loss.”
Most of all, she was tired of Wonder Woman, looking like the one who had lost her husband. She knew that the Justice League had a part of her husband that she never could touch.
She closed her eyes, letting her head rest against the window of the limo.
“She loved him,” Luthor whispered gently.
“We did too.”
Luthor didn’t bother disagreeing.
Martha calls her later, and the guilt instantly comes. She had been so caught up in her own grief, that she forgot about the only people who loved Clark as much as she had.
“I think asking if you’re alright is sort of pointless,” Lois admitted. Martha’s laugh was soft, and something gripped Lois’ heart tight, and refused to let go. She was going to start crying again, she knew it.
“It won’t be easy, Lois. Jonathan and I… well, you never expect to bury your child.”
“I know. It’s just… It’s going to get worse.”
“It always does, baby.”
When the phone rings, the caller id lists it as ‘out of area’. It makes her laugh, and she ignores the bitterness, because, yeah, the Justice League kind of is. And really, she doesn’t have the strength to deal with them.
Instead, she lets it ring. After seven rings, it stops. She picks it up, and without thinking, calls Luthor. He had given it to her, incase she needed it. She doesn’t need a thing from Luthor, but she’s fairly sure he needs this from her.
After the second ring, he picks up. “Lois,” he answers.
“He loved you too.”
The second time the Justice League calls, she has half a bottle of wine in her, and she’s listening to some depressing song that Clark would have hated.
“Lois?” Wonder Woman’s voice grates on Lois’ frazzled nerves, and she wants to snap, tell her to just fuck off.
“You ever fuck him, Wonder Woman?” Maybe she’s drunker than she thought.
“What?” she asks, her disbelief clear.
Lois stares at the bottle, feels the tears well up. “I’d forgive him. Of anything- I just want him back.”
“Lois…”
Lois hangs up, and brings her knees to her chest, and just cries.
The next person she ends up talking to is the Flash, and she doesn’t have the heart to be mean to him- he’s desperate for approval, like a puppy half the time. Also, by that time, she’s had three-fourths of the wine, and is more sad than angry. She wishes that she was angry- she can deal with anger.
She’s just crying again though. Flash is speaking to her in low tones, but she really doesn’t hear a word, and thinks that he knows. She just lets the sound of his voice comfort her, and is not ashamed by it.
It figures that the moment Superman is gone, they would start celebrating. Lois has hated many things, many people, but the rage she feels nearly blinds her, makes her gasp for breath.
The fact that Superman was killed by a two bit villain named Toyman only feeds her anger. She thinks that it would have been easier to stomach if he hadn’t been killed by a villain whose name she’s laughed at countless times before. It just wasn’t something she could take seriously.
A mistake they all made and one that they’re all paying for. Lois learns from her mistakes.
She vaguely remembers Lobo. Not that she ever met him- thank god- but Clark tells- told- her enough about his missions. If she remembers right, he’s a bounty hunter. She wonders what the hell he’s doing back on Earth before realization hits her. He’s here to replace Superman.
She takes some comfort in the fact that the Justice League won’t let him. She’s sure that there’s an explanation for why he’s fighting with them- they need the extra man power right then.
Any other reason is out of the question, and would probably make her loose her control for good.
She wonders how Batman is taking it. She’s fairly sure that Flash hadn’t mentioned any of the others, and when she finally calmed down, she hadn’t asked, mostly because she hadn’t really cared.
Still, they had been allies- friends, on a good day.
She wonders if he misses him. She hopes that he does- Clark had been fond of him- Lois liked to think that it went both ways, even if neither man would ever admit it. Lois sort of wants to talk to him, but she knows that he would only end up upsetting her in the long run.
The first thing Clark does when he gets in is nearly trip over his headphones. He’s got a beard, and he’s not wearing his costume, but he’s smiling at her.
“Hey Lois,” he whispers. He sounds the same, and the vice grip on her heart finally loosens.
When she runs to him, she does trip over the cord. He catches her though, and she’s crying, again. His beard scratches her face when she kisses him, and his arms are the only thing keeping her upright.
“You’re alive,” she whispers against his mouth.
“Yes,” he replies, kissing her again, “I’m alive.”
-end-
Fandom: Justice League (The Animated Series)
Author:
notworthyRating: PG-13
Summary: More than anything, she wants to see that smile.
A/N: Set during the Justice League episode "Hereafter", part one and two. So, spoilers for that, but given that it aired about three years ago... Title stolen from Beth Nielsen Chapman's Sand and Water. Written for
picfor1000.The first thing Lois does when she comes home after the funeral is trip over the cord of Clark’s headphones. His favorite, she realizes. The ones that cost about three hundred dollars, noise cancelling. He didn’t listen to them a lot, and even when he did, he could still hear everything else around him. She’s lost count of how many times he’s pulled them off with an apologetic smile, only to suddenly be in his suit, and to fly off to go save the world from whatever threatened it this time.
More than anything, she wants to see that smile.
*
She lets Luthor give her a ride home. The Justice League had given her concerned glances, but she only waved them off. She was already tired of the pitying stares, of people going “I’m sorry for your loss.”
Most of all, she was tired of Wonder Woman, looking like the one who had lost her husband. She knew that the Justice League had a part of her husband that she never could touch.
She closed her eyes, letting her head rest against the window of the limo.
“She loved him,” Luthor whispered gently.
“We did too.”
Luthor didn’t bother disagreeing.
*
Martha calls her later, and the guilt instantly comes. She had been so caught up in her own grief, that she forgot about the only people who loved Clark as much as she had.
“I think asking if you’re alright is sort of pointless,” Lois admitted. Martha’s laugh was soft, and something gripped Lois’ heart tight, and refused to let go. She was going to start crying again, she knew it.
“It won’t be easy, Lois. Jonathan and I… well, you never expect to bury your child.”
“I know. It’s just… It’s going to get worse.”
“It always does, baby.”
*
When the phone rings, the caller id lists it as ‘out of area’. It makes her laugh, and she ignores the bitterness, because, yeah, the Justice League kind of is. And really, she doesn’t have the strength to deal with them.
Instead, she lets it ring. After seven rings, it stops. She picks it up, and without thinking, calls Luthor. He had given it to her, incase she needed it. She doesn’t need a thing from Luthor, but she’s fairly sure he needs this from her.
After the second ring, he picks up. “Lois,” he answers.
“He loved you too.”
*
The second time the Justice League calls, she has half a bottle of wine in her, and she’s listening to some depressing song that Clark would have hated.
“Lois?” Wonder Woman’s voice grates on Lois’ frazzled nerves, and she wants to snap, tell her to just fuck off.
“You ever fuck him, Wonder Woman?” Maybe she’s drunker than she thought.
“What?” she asks, her disbelief clear.
Lois stares at the bottle, feels the tears well up. “I’d forgive him. Of anything- I just want him back.”
“Lois…”
Lois hangs up, and brings her knees to her chest, and just cries.
*
The next person she ends up talking to is the Flash, and she doesn’t have the heart to be mean to him- he’s desperate for approval, like a puppy half the time. Also, by that time, she’s had three-fourths of the wine, and is more sad than angry. She wishes that she was angry- she can deal with anger.
She’s just crying again though. Flash is speaking to her in low tones, but she really doesn’t hear a word, and thinks that he knows. She just lets the sound of his voice comfort her, and is not ashamed by it.
*
It figures that the moment Superman is gone, they would start celebrating. Lois has hated many things, many people, but the rage she feels nearly blinds her, makes her gasp for breath.
The fact that Superman was killed by a two bit villain named Toyman only feeds her anger. She thinks that it would have been easier to stomach if he hadn’t been killed by a villain whose name she’s laughed at countless times before. It just wasn’t something she could take seriously.
A mistake they all made and one that they’re all paying for. Lois learns from her mistakes.
*
She vaguely remembers Lobo. Not that she ever met him- thank god- but Clark tells- told- her enough about his missions. If she remembers right, he’s a bounty hunter. She wonders what the hell he’s doing back on Earth before realization hits her. He’s here to replace Superman.
She takes some comfort in the fact that the Justice League won’t let him. She’s sure that there’s an explanation for why he’s fighting with them- they need the extra man power right then.
Any other reason is out of the question, and would probably make her loose her control for good.
*
She wonders how Batman is taking it. She’s fairly sure that Flash hadn’t mentioned any of the others, and when she finally calmed down, she hadn’t asked, mostly because she hadn’t really cared.
Still, they had been allies- friends, on a good day.
She wonders if he misses him. She hopes that he does- Clark had been fond of him- Lois liked to think that it went both ways, even if neither man would ever admit it. Lois sort of wants to talk to him, but she knows that he would only end up upsetting her in the long run.
*
The first thing Clark does when he gets in is nearly trip over his headphones. He’s got a beard, and he’s not wearing his costume, but he’s smiling at her.
“Hey Lois,” he whispers. He sounds the same, and the vice grip on her heart finally loosens.
When she runs to him, she does trip over the cord. He catches her though, and she’s crying, again. His beard scratches her face when she kisses him, and his arms are the only thing keeping her upright.
“You’re alive,” she whispers against his mouth.
“Yes,” he replies, kissing her again, “I’m alive.”
-end-
